What Ifs and Missing Scenes (S1)
by FFextraordinary01
Summary: A series of one shots from season 1, AU as well as alternative POVs
1. Chapter 1

Title: What If's and Missing Scenes

Pairing: R. Castle and K. Beckett

Summary: A series of one shots based on season one, will be AU and from different POVs. The goal is to get them together by the end of each chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle

Words: 1050

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Chapter One: Flowers For Your Grave (S01E01)

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RC POV

Since Detective Kate Beckett had come sauntering into my life just a few short days ago with her badge held up high and her commanding voice as well as no nonsense attitude not to mention the high heels, I had been intrigued and entranced by her.

There was something about her that captured my attention and interest like nobody else before ever had and I was uncertain as to just why this was.

One thing that I had picked up on immediately when it came to her was that she wasn't some airheaded bimbo, no; Detective Beckett was multi-layered, complex, and no doubt complicated. She was certainly attractive, her face was thankfully not slathered full of make-up, the minimal amount that she did make use of was subtle and just enhanced her natural beauty even further.

She was smart, able to think on her feet as well as outside the box. I had always liked women who had brains; intelligence was something that I valued. She was also driven, determined to find justice for those who had met their untimely end, she wasn't just going through the motions when it came to her cases. She gave it her all, wanting to find justice for those that were no longer among the living as well as those that had been left behind and were mourning.

She was hurt, deep down; something had caused her extreme pain. Something that she hadn't been able to get over completely and maybe never would. But day after day, she tried to give others what she had never gotten for herself, justice. I was certain that she was seeking justice for whoever it was that she had lost, maybe it was even the main reason as to why she had become a cop in the first place.

She was a mystery, one that I wanted to solve. She was also vastly different from the usual type of woman that I perused, I had long since given up on my happily ever after, but there was something about her that made me hope that just maybe it was a possibility after all.

All of these thoughts swirled around in my mind as I cautiously approached her; she was standing with her back towards me just a few meters away. I had no idea how to say what I wanted to, very rarely did I ever get tongue tied or speechless, I chalked it up to another affect that Detective Kate Beckett had on me.

Clearing my throat nervously, I watched as she turned around, momentarily taken aback by just how beautiful she really was. It was more than just her physical appearance though; her inner beauty seemed to shine out onto the physical plane. I felt like a gangly limbed teenage boy asking out his secret crush to the prom as I stood before her.

"Well, I guess this is it." She spoke up, a slight smile on her face that she was trying to hide.

"It doesn't have to be." I answered quietly, sincerely.

I knew full well what people thought about me, Richard Castle, mystery writer and millionaire playboy with a different woman on his arm every week. And that was partly my fault, when I had started out writing, I had been young and more than willing to play the playboy act up to its fullest, and I was still stuck with it now years later.

I had never really done much to try and shake it though, especially after my most recent divorce. It had been nice to just go out and have fun without any strings attached or over complications, to get over Gina and my disappointment at another failed marriage under my belt.

"We could go to dinner?" I suggested, smiling at her with a small shrug.

I had wanted to add something more to my suggestion, something witty and charming, but I had no idea what to say. So I had instead just ended it there, holding my tongue so as to not say something stupid.

I really did want to spend more time with her, for the first time in a long time, I felt inspired. Words had been drifting through my mind since I had met her, scenes and characters all but coming to the life the more I was in her company.

"Why Castle?" She asked raising an eyebrow slightly. "I have no intention of being another one of your conquests."

"I'm not asking you to be." My reply was sincere and immediate. "So do you want to have dinner?"

I stared into her deeply dark expressive eyes; the ball was now in her court. Either she said yes or no, I was hoping for a yes but I was uncertain if that was the answer I would get from her. Normally I was confident, sometimes overly so even, but at this moment I felt more than a bit insecure. She had made it clear that I was an annoyance to her during the time we had spent together so far while working on the case.

A thorn in her side that she could do without, and to top it all off I hadn't exactly made the best first impression when I had met her. She bit her lower lip thoughtfully, seemingly really thinking my offer over, and as the seconds ticked by I felt my breath hitch in nervousness.

"Alright Castle. But nothing over the top." She finally replied what felt like an hour later.

"Nothing over the top, okay, promise." I agreed eagerly, feeling a grin starting to form.

"I'll call you as soon as I'm done with the paper work." She answered back, a slight flush creeping up onto her cheeks as I continued to stare at her.

I could hardly believe that she had actually said yes, not wanting to do anything to change her mind I decided that it would be for the best if I took my leave for now. I would wait for her call; I would probably spend the time waiting for it by staring at my phone and mentally willing it to ring.

But she had said yes, we were going to dinner, and if I had my way it wouldn't just be a onetime thing.

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	2. Chapter 2

Title: What If's and Missing Scenes

Pairing: R. Castle and K. Beckett

Summary: In this episode Kate reveals that she is a one and done type of girl when it comes to marriage.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle

Words: 1 196

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Chapter Two: Nanny McDead (S01E02)

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RC POV

"What?" I asked quizzically seeing the surprised look on Beckett's face.

"Nothing, I just never figured you for Mr Mom." Beckett replied honestly with a slightly pleased look about her while tugging at her bottom lip with her teeth.

"Some of the best days of my life." I responded easily looking over at her as we carried on walking to the entrance of the playground.

"That's actually kind of nice." She returned with a smile before facing forward again.

I wanted to make some crack about the women I had met back then, but I saw no need to hide behind my defences and false arrogance right now. Beckett made me feel like an inexperience teenage boy, clumsy and tongue tied most of the time, but if there was one thing that I loved talking about it, it was my daughter.

Alexis meant the world to me; she was the singular most important person in my life. The moment she had been placed in my arms and I had seen those beautiful blue eyes, I had been wrapped around her finger completely. There wasn't anything that I wouldn't do for her.

"Yeah, I was between marriages and well." I trailed off with a shrug as she glanced my way.

"Exactly how many times have you been married Castle?" She asked curiously, but for some reason I had a feeling that she already knew the answer.

"Twice." I answered promptly.

Meredith had been a whirlwind, fun and exciting, but we had never been a steady couple. Our foundation hadn't been solid and we had valued different things, I had been getting my career of the ground, just entering the big league and caring for Alexis while she had been trying to get any role that she could as well as trying to get her name out there.

If she hadn't been pregnant I doubted very much that I would have married her in the first place, but she had been and so we had gotten married. It wasn't done out of some sense of propriety, I had just wanted to give my child what I had never had while growing up, still didn't have really.

I had no idea who my father was, nor did my mother, although some days I had a feeling that she knew more than she was letting on. I had wanted to give my child a happy family, one where she would be loved and accepted, cherished and allowed to grow.

But that dream had come crashing down; it had ended with finding Meredith in our bed with her director.

My second marriage to Gina had been more business than anything; we had gotten along well and worked effortlessly together. Our relationship had evolved, I had been cautious about having her around Alexis, not wanting her to get attached if things didn't work out between my publisher and me.

I had believed that Alexis needed a female role model to whom she could look up. I had always been insecure when it came to my parenting abilities, constantly second guessing myself and wondering if I was doing the right things countless of times. And so, I had married Gina, determined to give my daughter a steady female presence in her life.

However, it soon became apparent that our relationship was just an extension of work; it was all we ever done or talked about. And my need to constantly protect Alexis from everyone had also caused problems between us, and so we had gotten divorced.

"That's it?" She asked, sparing me a glance as we carried on walking. She didn't seem at all surprised at my answer, which only confirmed my earlier suspicion that she had already known the answer.

"Isn't that enough?" I asked rhetorically before turning her question back on her, although I was already certain of the answer I would get. "How about you?"

"Me? No, never been." She answered, with a slight shake of her head.

I had thought as much but I couldn't resist the opportunity to tease her. This was only the second case that we working together but I had seen under her carefully constructed façade already, there was a shy and fun person hiding away behind the professional Detective Beckett persona.

"You would be good at it, you both controlling and disapproving." I remarked with a small smirk. "You should give it a try."

"I'm not an if at first you don't succeed kind of a girl Castle." She said barely glancing at me out of the corner of her eye before staring straight ahead. "When it comes to marriage, I'm more of a one and done type."

I hummed lightly in the back of my throat as I leaned against the fence watching her closely. I had no problem in believing her words; Kate Beckett didn't strike me as the type of woman who took serious matters lightly. I had been so very determined to make my marriages work, hoping for a happily ever after but that had never happened for me.

I had given up on marriage, determined that I would never be able to find the right partner. A woman whom I could spend the rest of my life with seemed like some mystical sort of creature to me, the likes of a unicorn really. I wanted a partner that would treat me as her equal in all things, that would value and cherish me as much as I did her, who held the same values and principles close to heart, someone with whom I could share more than a few common interests with and above all, someone that would love and treat Alexis as if though she were their own.

Kate Beckett met many of the things I wanted in such a partner, she was intelligent and understanding, compassionate and driven. And I was certain that as I got to know her better that she would meet even more of the things I desired in a woman.

But first, I had to know if she was even available to date.

"Any serious candidates?" I asked, staring into her expressive eyes.

"Um… No." She answered after a moment turning her head slightly to the side to break eye contact with me.

"So I won't be stepping on any toes if I were to ask you out then?" I queried, taking a small step closer to her and all but eliminating the distance between us.

Her head snapped up at my question, her mouth slightly parted in surprise and her eyes wide.

"Would you like to get a cup of coffee with me after you close this case?" I asked quietly not able to look away from her eyes.

"O-okay." She seemed a bit nervous but comfortable enough with her answer.

I smiled down at her, feeling joy surge through me. I couldn't wait for this case to be over with; I wanted to be sitting across from her in a café getting to know her better over a cup of coffee right now. But I could wait until this case was solved; I just hoped that it was soon.

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	3. Chapter 3

Title: What If's and Missing Scenes

Pairing: R. Castle and K. Beckett

Summary: Castle can capture people with his words, pull them into the story, just like he did in this episode to get the confession.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle

Words: 1 124

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Chapter Three: Hedge Fund Homeboys (S01E03)

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RC POV

I had met many people in my life, all different sorts, from soccer moms, to CIA Agents, as well as mobsters and serial killers. Over the years I had learned how to read people, to find the story that they were trying to hide. It was something that I had always been able to do, with one glance I could take in the most insignificant details of a person and piece together what they were trying to hide.

Brandon was guilty, of that I had no doubt, but the NYPD required more than just a person's gut feeling on the matter, unfortunately. They needed evidence and that was proving to be a bit problematic with this case, the kid had planned this very well but it wasn't without its flaws. And the biggest flaw in all of this was him. He thought himself to be the smartest in the room, a delusion that was irritating to say the least.

If we just tried to gather up evidence it would all be circumstantial at best and he would probably get off the hook. There was one sure fire way to make certain that he got what he deserved, and that was to get him to confess. He wasn't the type to confess though, when someone confessed it was either because they were backed into a corner or they were plagued by guilt.

He was smart and detached from any sort of guilt or remorse over what he had done, but his ego and arrogance was going to be his downfall. As I leaned in closer to him, staring into his eyes that seemed so dead aside from a spark of malice and pleasure, I lowered my voice even further. Pulling him into the story that I was spinning, a special one, designed just for him.

"Exactly." He intoned staring into my eyes.

Standing back up, I decided to break the tense atmosphere in the room. We had gotten what we needed for this case to be a slam dunk, and I really wanted to get away from this creepy kid. Beckett seemed pleased with my actions if the smug smile on her face that she directed towards him was anything to go by.

Stepping out of the room, I followed her to her desk, taking a seat in what I had claimed to be my chair which was right next to her desk. The group of kids that had been involved watched as Brandon was hauled off in cuffs to lock up, these kids would all be traumatised because of him and his petty issues.

Deciding not to dwell on the negative, I looked over at Beckett. She had already started in on her paperwork; the amount of paperwork had been surprising to me in the beginning. And so far I had been able to avoid having to do any of it.

"Any plans for this weekend?" I asked her curiously.

I had called the school earlier asking if I could fill in for the chauffer that they were short on, but the spot had already been filled. So I was looking at a rather boring weekend ahead of me, there would be no laser tag with Alexis this weekend sadly, maybe I would be able to get some writing done though.

"No, I've got the weekend off and I'm going to use it to relax." Beckett answered, looking away from her paperwork for a moment to look at me before returning her attention back to it. "What about you Castle, I'm sure you have got big plans, huh?"

My social life had been a bit slow lately; I had been putting it on hold for more important things, like tagging along on cases and spending my time writing at night instead of going out and doing something stupid. Although I had only been here for a short period of time, the importance of what this group of Detectives did each and every day, made me realize just how shallow I had become lately.

It humbled me greatly.

"No, Alexis is off to D.C and I think my mother is planning a crazy party with her equally crazy friends at my loft." I answered back, watching as she went about filling out forms.

Her scarf was very eye catching, and I couldn't look away from her. The green shade of her top brought out the colour of her eyes, and her black pants was slimming and flattering. Everything about her was stunning, even the concentration that she used when filling out paperwork had me focus solely on her. I just couldn't look away, even though I knew I was staring, even though I knew she was well aware of it as well, I just couldn't stop.

She leaned back in her chair a moment later, crossing her arms over her chest as she watched me for a long moment. Her eyes seeming to be able to see right through me, she looked thoughtful for some reason. However, a few moments later the look left her face and was instead replaced by her poker face, completely impassive.

"Tell you what Castle, you help box up the murder board and I'll buy you dinner." She suggested calmly.

I was more than a bit surprised at her words, so far I thought the only emotion that I had elected from her was annoyance but this proved me wrong. Realizing that the mask she had put up was for in case I turned her offer down, I quickly got to my feet.

I would be lying if I said that I wasn't interested in her, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to maybe peruse something with her and get to know her better outside of the station.

"Sounds good to me." I answered softly, staring into her eyes.

She had such beautifully expressive eyes, I could get lost in them. Blinking owlishly, I realized that that was what I was doing right now; she offered me a nod and a small smile before returning to her paperwork.

I watched her for a moment longer, seeing her smile grow into one that made her even more stunning and drew me further in, with that I turned around to start taking apart the murder board. Feeling a swirl of happiness in my chest that I hadn't felt in a very long time, if ever, there was something special about this woman.

And I had every intention of finding out just what it was, I was a smart enough man to know that when something good came into your life that you had to hold onto it with both hands.

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	4. Chapter 4

Title: What Ifs and Missing Scenes

Pairing: R. Castle and K. Beckett

Summary: It's all about the coffee.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle

Words: 1 302

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Chapter Four: Hell Hath No Fury (S01E04)

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KB POV

This was a high profile case and as such I had to make sure that everything was done perfectly, one thing out of place and it would be my head on the chopping block. I wasn't a stranger to late nights; staying at the station to keep on working the case was better than going home to my lonely apartment.

Looking around the bullpen, I noticed that I was the only one still here, the boys had left hours ago and so had Castle. Now would be the perfect time to try out the new espresso machine that Castle had gotten without anyone knowing about my indulgence.

Over the years I had gotten rather addicted to caffeine, and in all honesty I had been itching to try a cup of the rich flavoured coffee that the machine produced. Making my way to the break room as inconspicuously as I could, I started making a cup of the rich flavour filled coffee.

As it started to trickle down into the cup at a steady stream, I felt my mouth all but water, it smelled delicious. I couldn't wait to taste it, to have the flavour burst in my mouth, a slow smile spread across my lips at that thought.

I would never admit it to anyone, least of all Castle, but he had been right. Our regular coffee was terrible, it was foul tasting slime that I forced myself to choke down when in need of my caffeine fix, but this was so much better.

With my hand on the cup, eager to taste it the moment the stream tapered off regardless of how hot it was and that it would no doubt burn my tongue, I was startled by the sudden appearance of Castle. I let the cup clatter and the delicious coffee sloped out over the rim of the cup, the coffee that I had been so very much looking forward to having was all wasted now.

"Hi." Castle said suddenly appearing at the door.

"Hi." I replied, my voice several notches higher than normal.

Castle dashed off after saying that he had something to show me, I couldn't help but to let out a huff of frustration. I had come so close to tasting that heavenly coffee and now I wouldn't be able to and it was his fault.

Feeling irritated I made my way back to the bullpen; he was practically vibrating in his skin from excitement. With a scowl, I made my way over to my desk, if this was just another one of his crazy theories I was certain that I would strangle him especially after what had happened to that oh so very wonderful smelling coffee.

He moved his chair right beside mine, explaining just what it was he had found. I wanted to be annoyed at his lack of regard for my personal space, but instead I was zoning out completely.

Staring at the screen trying to force myself to understand just what it was he was showing me, his voice was soft and his words were all but whispered in my ear. Only serving to distract me even further, I couldn't help but notice the subtle tones of his cologne and the warmth that his body radiated through to mine.

There was something comforting about him, something that I hadn't felt in a long time, and I wanted to embrace it fully. But I was certain that it would be a bad idea to get involved with him as anything more than his persuade partner and muse.

I knew all about Richard Castle the infamous multimillionaire author and playboy, a man with two failed marriages and more flings and relationships than I or the gossip magazines could keep track of.

Yet still, I felt inexplicably drawn towards him, with the few cases that we had worked together already I had caught several glimpses of a side to him that I was certain very few people ever really got to see. There was more to him than some bad boy charmer, at least I hoped so.

At times when I caught him looking at me, observing me, it made me feel flustered and flattered. Richard Castle could have his pick of women but for some reason that I just didn't understand he seemed genuinely interested in me, and not just as a conquest, he seemed to want to know and understand me.

I wasn't one for sharing but over the time that I had spent with him, I had felt freer than ever at least since that night I had found out that my mother was murdered. There was something about him that just made me forget about all the negative things in my life, something about him that made me want to live in the here and now.

And that made me scared.

It terrified me really.

Turning my head slightly, I watched him closely as he carried on explaining what he had found. He seemed so very pleased with himself for having found this information, for putting the pieces together, and I couldn't fault him for that.

He lit up with pride as he spoke; I had lied earlier when I said that his gloating was unattractive. Every look he had was attractive, even the excitement he seemed to be overflowing in when we had a case, his eagerness to learn everything that he could.

I blinked several times, trying to shake off these thoughts as I realized that he was staring at me. Staring right into my eyes in a way that made me think that just maybe he knew what it was I was thinking about.

"Is everything okay?" He asked cautiously, his voice pitched low.

I closed the distance between us in a blink of an eye, pushing my lips against his. They were so very soft, softer than what I had thought they would be, and yes I had imagined doing this on more than one occasion although I would never tell him that, his ego was big enough as it was. Just as I was about to pull away and apologize for my actions, thinking that they had been unwanted as he hadn't responded to them, I felt him start to move.

But he wasn't moving away from me, he wasn't breaking this out of the nowhere kiss, his hand came up to the back of my neck, cupping it gently. He tilted his head slightly to get a better angle, and as cliché as it was, fireworks exploded inside of me in the next instant.

My breath hitched in my throat and I felt butterflies summersault around in my tummy. We pulled apart several moments later, he gently pressed his forehead to mine. His eyes still closed as I watched him, waiting to see what his reaction would be.

And when his eyes did finally open, I was met with a piercing shade of blue that was a bit darker than usual; even his pupils were slightly dilated. It made me feel in control, gave me a sense of power knowing that I could bring forth such a reaction from him and his body.

"We won't be able to speak to her until tomorrow, so how about we call it a night here and go get that cup of coffee you were trying to have earlier?" He asked softly, his voice deep and gravely.

"Yeah, I'd like that." I replied sincerely, not moving an inch away from him just yet.

We sat there for several long moments just smiling like fools at each other; I was looking forward to this cup of coffee more than the one I had been making earlier on in the sly.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: What Ifs and Missing Scenes

Pairing: R. Castle and K. Beckett

Summary: In this episode we saw just how determined Kate was when it came to finding and getting justice as well as the level of compassion that she held, also it was her first time in Rick's home.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle

Words: 1 630

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Chapter Five: A Chill Goes Through Her Veins (S01E05)

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KB POV

The rest of the team had left hours ago already, and I was still sitting at my desk staring at the murder board that we had put together during the course of this case, trying to figure out just how everything had happened. There were parts missing to this story I could sense it, and I had to know the answers.

Those two girls deserved to know what had really happened and I wanted to know as well, I had to know. This case was hitting me harder than usual, seeing those young and carefree children had made me remember what it is I had lost that night when my mother had been murdered.

It had changed me, made me a harder person in some ways but in other ways it had made me so very fragile. With a sigh I leaned back in my chair, my eyes tired from having stared at the board for several hours straight already, especially considering the fact that I wasn't getting anywhere closer to solving this thing.

I missed my mom everyday but today I was missing her even more fiercely than usual, I wanted to give those two girls the answers that I had never gotten for myself. Maybe even save them from becoming like me, so closed off and guarded as well as scared of the world and what it offered.

What he offered.

Rick Castle was a lot of things, I had seen the excited puppy side of him, even seen him been concerned over the people involved in a case, the jokester side of him could pull a laugh out of me even when I was determined not to give in, but he could also be serious and considerate. There was a lot to him; he wasn't just simply the playboy author that the media made him out to be, I didn't doubt that he had had his fun, but there was more to him than just that.

At least I felt that way.

Gathering up my things I decided that it would be best to tackle this problem tomorrow, I was tired from a long day of work and emotional turmoil. But as I got into my cruiser and on the road, I wasn't heading for my apartment; instead I was heading to the Castle residence.

I debated the merits of calling ahead but decided against it, not knowing what to do if he wasn't available. The doorman was friendly enough to let me in after I flashed him my badge, it was my key to the city really, I could go just about anywhere with it.

Ringing the buzzer, I felt more than a bit anxious about seeing him like this, with my guard down and outside of work. The door opened a few moments later, only for Castle to appear in the doorway with some sort of toy gun and silly vest which was lit up. I felt more than slightly confused as I frowned gently at the sight.

"Hi?" I half greeted half questioned.

I could feel my mouth drop open in surprise as his daughter appeared on one side of him in the same getup while his mother on the other side with a green facial mask on and in her robe. I hadn't quiet being expecting this and from the look on his face neither had he.

He floundered for a moment before inviting me in, and stepping into his home, my eyes travelled around of their own accord. The loft was magnificent, a lot of open spaces and made for comfort, I hadn't quiet been expecting this. I had thought that it would be some sort of bachelor pad, but this looked more like a home than anything else.

A stylish but well lived in home that was comfortable and welcoming. I felt more than a bit awkward being reintroduced to his family; especially as he stood there in his goofy getup and charming smile. It just shouldn't have been possible but it was adorable and his family seemed so very nice.

His daughter, Alexis, had a bright and welcoming smile on her face as she tucked herself into her father's side shyly while Martha seemed perfectly at ease in her colourful robe.

"No, no that won't be necessary." I declined his offer of a drink with a shake of my head. "I um… just wanted to speak to you about the case."

I wasn't certain as to what he had told them about the case and so I would be careful in how much detail I brought up, after all his daughter was still fairly young and I very much doubted that she wanted to hear about a murder investigation. Even if her dad treated it like a trip to Disney world when we had first met.

"Right, okay, let's go to my office then." He suggested with a shrug, nodding his head to the side.

After excusing ourselves, I lead the way to his office, the open bookshelves doing little to give privacy. Of course the moment I stepped into the room the fan girl part of me came out slightly. Richard Castle was my favourite author after all, though I had no intention of telling him that any time soon.

My mom had loved him; before she died she had taken to carting around her dog eared book with his smiling photo on the back. After she had died, one night when everything had just gotten too much for me, I had taken the book and started reading it. I was hooked from the first page.

Our conversation flowed easily, no more awkwardness now that it was just us in the room, and Castle only served to further prove to me just how lowered my guard was when he read me so easily. Asking so very sincerely if I was alright, and the truth was that I wasn't.

I needed the answers for selfish reasons, I could admit that to myself, but I didn't want to look too deeply into it. I had worked too hard to get out of the rabbit hole to just dive back in head first now; it had taken me years to get my life on track as much as I had.

Building theory with Castle was easy; we meshed so well together all but reading the others mind. It was exciting and intoxicating, I felt practically dizzy as we sat side by side on his desk.

I couldn't help but watch him out of the corner of my eye as he bounced ideas of off me, he was so eager to help me find the missing pieces to this case. I didn't know exactly why that was, but I wasn't about to question it. So long as he helped then I was happy.

I had a difficult job and having him around made it easier, I was happier than I had been in a very long time; freedom was something that I had left behind years ago when my rose tinted glasses had been shattered. But at times, when I was in his company, I felt carefree again.

But as we started to put the pieces together, figuring out what had really happened to this family; I couldn't help but to dwell on my mother. I knew that Castle was curious about what had happened, but he had been sensitive enough to not push too hard.

And from what I knew about him, it was no doubt a difficult thing for him to do. Sitting at my desk afterwards at the station, I felt the need to share at least some of my story with him. He had been so patient with me, and I needed someone to talk to.

He was the perfect person for this, he wouldn't pity or judge me, and he wouldn't try to make it all better because he would be able to understand that nothing would ever be able to make it better. He would listen and be compassionate without making it awkward or becoming overbearing.

At least I hoped so.

And so I told him, in the dead of the night, sitting at my desk in the empty station with his piercing blue eyes on me, I told him what had happened to my mother.

Gathering up my things, I was ready to run away after I had told him, wanting to just go home and forget about this dreadful case and miss my mother while reading her favourite book. But Castle, being Castle, wrapped his arms around me gently and just held me.

I hadn't been held like this in a very long time, it was comforting and reassuring. Clutching onto the lapels of his jacket, I buried my face into his chest, just enjoying the physical comfort he was offering me.

"You are an extraordinary woman Kate." He whispered quietly into my ear, giving me a slight squeeze.

I held onto him for a moment longer before finally pulling away, he was watching me with those bright blue eyes of his; there wasn't any pity to be found. And for that I was thankful, I never wanted him to pity me.

Leaning up, I placed a feather light kiss on the corner of his mouth, hearing how his breath hitched in the back of his throat. I knew how he felt about me, the signs were easy to read and he wasn't exactly very subtle about it.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" I questioned, taking a few steps back, my eyes locked onto his.

"Of course." He answered softly, a gentle grin blooming on his face.

With a small grin of my own I turned around and headed for the elevators.

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	6. Chapter 6

Title: What Ifs and Missing Scenes

Pairing: R. Castle and K. Beckett

Summary: Introducing Meredith and a green eyed monster.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle

Words: 1 599

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Chapter Six: Always Buy Retail (S01E06)

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KB POV

Seeing that vacant and distracted look on Castle's face this morning, had had me worried as he usual participated like an eager to please puppy in anything murder related. And I refused to admit even to myself that I had felt jealous when he had brought up what he so aptly dubbed the "Deep-Fried Twinkie".

I huffed and rolled my eyes, but deep down inside I understood my internal reaction even though I was less than pleased with it. We had gotten closer, started to get to know each other, and I had really thought that there was a connection between us.

But finding out that he had been intimate with his ex-wife that morning made me angry at myself for having such thoughts in the first place and more than a little disappointed in him, although I thought I hid it well.

However, I hadn't been able to resist the temptation to ask the question of just why he had slept with her when the opportunity had presented itself later on in the day at his loft. And I found myself even more disappointed with him because of his answer.

Having lunch with him wasn't something new, Michelle though was an interesting person to say the least, dressed so very colourfully, they got along well enough. I had felt slightly ill to my stomach when I discovered just what lunch was, but I had to admit to myself that he had had a point, the stew was delicious. I would just think of it as plain beef and ignore the foot part altogether.

I wasn't the type to eat exotic dishes, but I wouldn't let him in on that, it would just be something that he would use to tease me with later on down the road. Our teasing was good natured and I had taken it as another sign as to just how close we were really getting, but it seemed that I had been wrong, he saw me as nothing more than a friend.

I would have to swallow my disappointment with that and put on a brave face, he couldn't help his feelings, just like I couldn't help but to have feelings for him. And who could honestly blame me; I had seen so many different sides to him since he had started shadowing my cases.

But now we seemed to be firmly slotted into the friend zone, I managed to push aside my feelings by forcing myself to concentrate firmly on the case. Thinking about anything else right now would be counterproductive; however it only lasted for a short while after having arrived at the station.

A high pitched and rather shrill voice rose above the usual sounds of the bullpen, and by the way Castle became rigid in his seat I had a fairly good idea as to just who that voice belonged to. To say that I didn't like the woman was a drastic understatement, and by the way she sized me up and then ever so casually dismissed me told me exactly what she thought of me.

There was at least one silver lining to all of this; I had something new to tease Castle with. And judging by the horrified look on his face, he was desperate for me to not call him kitten. However, I wouldn't be able to resist the temptation for long.

But even as I planned a thousand and more ways to tease him deviously with the pet name, I couldn't help the surge of jealousy I felt at him having gotten the name from her.

I wasn't one prone to jealousy, and had never really had a reason before to be jealous, but now that I was experiencing it I realized that I just didn't know how to handle it. So I forcibly tried to brighten my mood, to not let anyone see just what I really was feeling deep inside, least of all Castle.

Even though Castle had blown the raid I couldn't help but to find some amusement in how he was floundering for the details when pressed for what type of car it was. It was adorable to see him so flustered and trying to justify it, but when he justified it all I could think about was how it was Meredith that had distracted him and I no longer thought that any of it was adorable.

Luckily the video camera was left behind in the desk draw and we were able to trace down the next would be victim.

I had just been calling in our find of the passport when Castle tackled me to the ground, no doubt saving my life from the shooter. It was a bit of a hard and awkward landing, but there wasn't time to berate him for his less than graceful moves, he had saved my life and that was all that mattered.

The shootout was nerve wrecking, I wasn't all that worried for myself, being a cop for so long had made me well aware of just what could happen to me on the job. But thinking back to Alexis with her wide blue eyes and innocent personality, had me desperate to make sure that Castle got home to his family today, no matter if Meredith was a part of that or not.

When the dust had settled, I made my way out of the apartment, feeling a smile tugging at my lips as I watched Castle leaning casually against the wall drinking champagne and looking entirely too pleased with him. Our banter flowed easily, and my heart sped up in my chest when he crowded me against the wall his voice low in my ear.

I felt myself shudder in delight, wanting nothing more than to just grab a hold of him and kiss him firmly, passionately. But this wasn't the place for such things, it would get back to Montgomery and Castle would be unable to follow me around. And I liked having him shadow me on cases, being able to build a theory with him and bounce ideas off of each other, almost as much as the way I liked how he looked at me when he thought I wasn't looking.

His gaze dropped down to my mouth for a moment, before returning to my eyes. Leaning even further into my personal space, with his mouth directly by my ear his next words were whispered so very quietly with a hint of smugness to them, but it wasn't enough to hide the husky tone of his voice.

"Never, ever, call me Kitten."

And with that he sauntered off, champagne flute still in hand. I felt breathless and giddy, leaning against the wall and feeling myself smile widely, knowing that I was surrounded by co-workers I bit into my bottom lip trying to hide my smile not wanting to give the rumour mill even more to work with.

Biting my lip made me wonder just why he hadn't tried to kiss me or ask me out, and my smile vanished completely as I entertained the idea that it was because of Meredith. That just maybe, he still had feelings for her, that maybe he wanted to give a relationship with her another try.

I had to know where I stood with him once and for all, and so I forced myself to move, rushing after him.

My feet felt like they were made of lead, and my heart was stuttering in my chest. Seeing him standing on the curb outside of the building with his phone in his hand, forced my heart to my throat. But I had to know and so I steeled my resolve.

He turned around to face me when I was just a few feet away, a smile forming on his face but it diminished once he got a look at the determination written all over my own. Coming to a stop right in front of him, I stared him in the eyes for a moment.

"Beckett?" He questioned, sounding worried as his brow furrowed.

"What are we Castle?" I asked plainly.

"What?" He asked back looking so very lost.

"Why didn't you ask me out back there?" I demanded jerking my head in the direction of the building I had just left. "Why didn't you try to kiss me?"

A part of me realized just how desperate and needy I sounded in this moment, but I couldn't care less. I had to know, I needed to know. And he was the only one that could provide me with the answer that I needed.

"It wouldn't be right." He admitted quietly. "Taking advantage of a made up debt to get you to go out with me, I don't want it that way."

"What way do you want it then?" I demanded relentlessly, butterflies forming in my stomach.

"The right way Kate." He replied softly, placing a hand on my arm. "A way that gives me a real chance to have more with you and blackmailing you into a date won't give me what I want."

He leaned his head down, pressing a light kiss to the side of my mouth, grazing both mouth and cheek at the same time. I felt my eyes close in pleasure and anticipation.

"Would you like to go on a date with me tonight Kate?" He asked quietly against my cheek, his breath cool on my cheek.

"Yes." I answered just as quietly, my eyes opening to stare up at his blue ones with a smile curving my mouth.

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	7. Chapter 7

Title: What Ifs and Missing Scenes

Pairing: R. Castle and K. Beckett

Summary: Bonding time with the Castle and Rodger clan for Kate.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle

Words: 928

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Chapter Seven: Home is Where the Heart Stops (S01E07)

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KB POV

Standing in front of the door, I felt more than a bit uncertain about my presence here. I didn't want to disrupt any ones morning, but I was slightly worried about Castle and I could at least admit to myself that I felt guilty about what had happened the day before.

It had been on my orders that he stayed in the car only to land up in a physical altercation against the perp. He had seemed okay afterwards, but I had to make sure that he really was okay. That he hadn't just claimed to be okay for my sake, or even as a front for the boys to seem macho.

Men could be such boys.

I cared for him; I didn't want to examine my feelings too deeply for I was scared of just what exactly they might be and lead to, but over the last few months he had become my friend. Even though his constant chatter could drive me up the wall, and he was more than a bit annoying at times, he had become one of the best friends I had ever had.

Martha opened the door for me, dressed colourful as usual; she thankfully was able to pull of the bright and often times clashing colours. It seemed to be an external manifestation of her colourful and dramatic self.

I wasn't sure how exactly I got roped into joining the household for breakfast; I hadn't put up much of a fight against it though. I was only the tiniest bit reluctant about it but it had been so long since I had had what could be considered a family breakfast, even if I wasn't exactly part of the family, they always went out of their way to make me feel welcomed in their home and around them.

Castle's daughter, whom I had taken to referring to as Little Castle in my head, was an absolute treasure. She looked so young and innocent but she was startlingly intelligent, there was one topic that Castle loved talking about above all others, and that was Alexis. His pride and joy; he was a doting father and loved Alexis more than anything.

When he spoke about her love and pride all but dripped from his voice. I had thought very little about him after our first meeting when I had questioned him in the interrogation, writing him off as nothing but a egocentric playboy, however as I got to know him better I discovered that there was more to him.

The protective and dotting father side was one of my favourites, and if I was being honest with myself, it was the side of him that I found most attractive.

As I told Alexis and Martha what had happened the night before starting from the red carpet walk, I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. They were all watching me, drawn into the story, even Castle who had been there for himself right beside me.

Unfortunately, it couldn't last forever as they had things to do, although Castle pouted when I mentioned that I had to get to work. There was a lot of paperwork waiting on my desk, it seemed never ending some days and it was one of the things I disliked most about being a cop.

"Stay for another five minutes, I'll make you travel cup of delicious coffee." Castle asked, pouting like a little boy and watching me with his big blue sad eyes.

"Fine, but just five minutes longer." I huffed, smiling to myself as he dashed around the kitchen like an eager puppy.

"I had a nice time at the fundraiser." He spoke quietly, glancing at me over his shoulder.

"Yeah, me too." I replied sincerely, and it was true even though I had been on duty it was the most fun I had had in a long time.

I had been able to forget about everything for a while and just enjoy the event, as well as Castle's company.

"Um… I was thinking." He started nervously, approaching with the promised travel mug in his hand. "That maybe we can do it again if you want to, without the criminals and gun?"

"Are you asking me out Castle?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Like a date?"

"No." He said simply shaking his head, losing the flustered state of moments before.

I couldn't help but to feel disappointed, I knew that I liked him, he was easy to like. He was fun and kind, easy going but capable of being serious when needed. He brightened up my day, with his jokes and company, made my job lighter on my heart and conscious.

"Not like a date." He carried on a moment later, determination clear on his face. "A date, a real date."

Upon hearing his words part of me wanted to run away, turn him down, laugh it off. Just simply say no, but a larger part of me, one that was tired of being scared of the world and what it had to offer, tired of putting my life on hold, just wanted to leap in with both feet.

I felt torn.

It was an easy enough question to answer, either yes or no.

Looking into his bright blue eyes, I found myself answering without another thought on the matter. And I couldn't find a single ounce of regret in me afterwards, especially not with the way his entire face lit up in happiness.

"Yes."

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